Happy
by Mac-alicious
Summary: With a last thought of Harry, she downed the rest of her glass and let the tears fall. Yes, she would be happy for him. She had no strength left to do anything else. songfic.One shot. HHr.read author note.


**A/N:** I posted this as an HHr fic but I don't think it's limited to Harry and Hermione, even though I used them here. It doesn't really have much character or back story so it could probably be anything if you changed the names. It's really just a story that plays along with the song, so...R&R please! –Mac

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, related characters, or story lines. And the song is "Happy" by Saving Jane—which I absolutely love! I've been listening to it over and over for ages...and this popped into my head. Enjoy.

Happy 

_Filling up my empty day with red wine_

_Wonder what you think of me_

She watched the crimson liquid swirl in her glass as she twirled it gently in her hand.

She had never been much of a drinker, not when she was a teenager and not in the few short years following her school years. Even when her best friends took to getting wasted on a daily basis, she kept to sobriety like the good girl she was.

She wasn't absolutely certain where she picked up for the taste of it, but she had a vague idea of when. She knew it wasn't long after _that_ night. The night she tried to forget about. The night she seemed to be drowning in red wine. She didn't know when she picked up the habit, but what she did know was it provided a filler for the empty days in her life.

_Lying in the grass, alone and wasted_

_Nothing's how it used to be_

It was on those empty days that she found herself drawn back to the days that were full of happiness, friendship and...Love.

When she found herself too wrapped up in painful memories, she would slip out into her front lawn and lie on the grass, watching the sky. It calmed her, made her feel peaceful. It always had._ He_ knew that. He had known everything about her.

At times, the memories of him spending those peaceful moments with her became too much. It was those times that clearly reminded her that things would never be like they used to be.

_I want to be the first to call and tell you_

_Yesterday I heard the news_

She wasn't sure where she heard it first--whether she read it in the newspaper, heard it from a friend, or it was brought up in passing. It didn't matter how she knew, she just did. And as she fully absorbed the news, she found it would be rude not to call him. It didn't matter that she hadn't talked to him but once since that night. It didn't matter how she felt about it. It didn't matter how she felt about him.

Her hand shook gently as she held the phone to her ear. The sound of the dial tone rung softly in her ear and made her dizzy. After a deep breath, in and out, she dialed the familiar numbers and waiting as the ringing filled her ears.

_I hear you ought to be congratulated_

_So I guess that's what I'll do_

He deserved her acknowledgement. Or rather, the occasion--at the very least--deserved her acknowledgement. He was supposed to be her best friend after all. A few years of not talking didn't change that. A 'congratulations' should be simple enough.

"Hello?" A voice broke through, as the ringing ended.

"Hey Harry." She whispered.

"Hermione?"

"Yeah." She heard him let out a quick rush of breath. She had surprised him.

"How are you?" He asked after a moment.

"Good. You?"

"Good."

"That's good." She resented the awkwardness of the conversation already. "I guess congratulations are in order."

"How did you know?"

"How could I not know?"

"That's a good question. I guess you're right. Not that I'm surprised, you always were."

_I'm so happy for you _

_I could cry_

_Yeah, I'm so elated_

_Cross my heart and hope to die_

_I don't think about you every night_

_Before I close my eyes_

_I'm so happy for you, baby_

_I could cry_

"I'm happy for you." She choked on the words and prayed he hadn't heard it.

"Are you really?"

"Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't?"

"You would be you, Hermione."

"Glad you still know me so well."

"What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't?"

"You would be you, Harry."

"No, I would be Ron." He remarked, and she laughed. It didn't last long and the sorrow of the moment crawled back in.

"I...I want to congratulate you again, but I need to go." The words 'I miss you' had almost escaped her lips and the impulse shocked her back to reality. He wasn't hers anymore. And she had to get off the phone...right that moment.

"Okay," He responded and she heard the disappointment in his voice, "But promise you'll call again soon?"

"I will, I promise." She whispered before slipping the phone back onto the hook.

_Listen to the sound of my head pounding_

_Wish that it was make believe_

_Praying for the sky to open up_

_And wash away your memory_

The dull thud in her head was nearly intolerable. Ever since she got off the phone her head had pounded incessantly. She just wanted it to go away. She didn't want reality to set back in. She wanted her fantasy back. At least in the past months she had a hope that he would return to her, that he would come back. Now, that hope had evaporated. She just wished she could forget all about him and the way he hurt her. She wanted to erase his memory. But she could never do that. He had been a big part of her life. He still was, even if it was only in her mind.

_I could walk around with a pretty face on_

_Even when I'm black and blue_

She was hurting and it was a deep penetrable hurt. But she would put on the happy face, like nothing had happened at all. She had always been good at hiding her emotions, not as well as Harry of course, but she had been good at it. She could put on a happy face, go on with her life, and pour herself another glass of wine—even if she was feeling worse than worse inside.

_What's the point of telling everybody_

_I'm not over you_

She figured logically there was nothing she could do. If he was moving on, the best thing she could do is move on herself—though she knew that wasn't likely. It didn't matter if she wasn't completely over him. It didn't matter that she thought about him every night just before she drifted off to sleep. He wasn't going to leave his new girlfriend, no fiancée for her. He would never have left her all that time ago it he really wanted to be with her. There was nothing she could do. She had to be happy for him, if that was the only thing she could do.

_I'm so happy for you _

_I could cry_

_Yeah, I'm so elated_

_Cross my heart and hope to die_

_I don't think about you every night_

_Before I close my eyes_

_I'm so happy for you, baby_

_I could..._

She didn't recognize the tears streaming down her face and pooling in the front of her shirt for quite some time. She had been doing that a lot lately. She cried without know it. She cried without knowing what about. She just cried.

_Cry, about the love we used to have_

_Cry, that I won't ever get you back_

But this time she knew what she was crying about. She cried for the love that she and Harry used to share. She cried for the sorrow that she felt when she lost it. And most importantly she cried for the hope she had lost. She cried because she would never get him back.

_Filling up my empty days with red wine_

_Wonder what you think of me_

She lay silently in the grass of her front lawn watching the clouds swirl slowly in the sky. She fingered the half-empty glass that sat upright beside her. She glanced briefly at the empty bottle lying in the grass a few feet from her head. With a last thought of Harry, she downed the rest of her glass and let the tears fall. Yes, she would be happy for him. She had no strength left to do anything else.

_I'm so happy for you _

_I could cry_

_Yeah, I'm so elated_

_Cross my heart and hope to die_

_I'm so happy for you_

_So, so happy for you_

_I don't think about you every night_

_Before I close my eyes_

_I'm so happy for you, baby_

_I could cry_


End file.
